I’ve spent a little over a year realizing it was possible to and attempting to incorporate my emotions and humanity with faith. It has felt like a huge relief and like pain…And with those two responses, I’ve pushed back and forth between my attempts and joy at being myself with God and avoidance in hurt and denial.
It is a struggle to want to be fully with and following Jesus, and at the same time wishing and wanting to avoid working through issues and memories and hurt.
It is overwhelming at times. The amazing thing is that God is with us all the way, and when I don’t make sense to myself – God understands. I’m so thankful for prayer, for being able to talk to God.
Just finished reading a book recommended through church called ‘How to pray: A guide for normal people’ by Pete Greig and it was awesome. Again so much to think about and more than I can handle (on my own :). Thankfully, God can handle it, and I don’t need to be alone. God is with me, and so are other humans who are following Jesus and wrestling with their faith and humanity.